Celebrate Father’s Day With Our Top 30 Dad Jokes

Celebrate Father’s Day With Our Top 30 Dad Jokes

Dear Dads everywhere,

Over the years you’ve passed down wisdom to your children: how to ride a bike, how to tie their shoes, and of course, how to tell a good pun. This Father’s Day, we’re here to tell you how much we appreciate your sense of humour and all of the laughter you try to bring into this world. Some may say your jokes make them cringe, but we truly want to give thanks to all of you Fathers out there who keep your families entertained with all of your knee-slapping one-liners. So to celebrate Father’s Day this year, we’ve collected 30 of our favourite classic Dad jokes for you to laugh, or groan at!

1. What’s an astronaut’s favourite part of a computer?
Answer: The space bar

2. What did the grape do when he got stepped on?
Answer: He let out a little wine

3. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
Answer: It was two tired

4. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Answer: Because he was outstanding in his field

5. What sound does a witches car make?
Answer: Broom Broom

6. If you’re American when you go into the bathroom, and you’re American when you come out, what you are while you’re in there?
Answer: European

7. What do you call a hippie’s wife?
Answer: Mississippi


8. What’s Forrest Gump’s Facebook password?
Answer: 1forest1

9. Why didn’t the melons get married?
Answer: Because they cantaloupe

10. Why did the coffee file a police report?
Answer: It got mugged.

11. Why did the coach go to the bank?
Answer: To get his quarter back

12. What did the fisherman say to the magician?
Answer: Pick a cod, any cod

13. How do you organize a space party?
Answer: You planet

14. Why are elevator jokes so good?
Answer: They work on so many levels

15. Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella?
Answer: Fo’ drizzle

16. What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Answer: Toad


17. Why can’t leopards play hide and seek?
Answer: Because they always get spotted

18. What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear?
Answer: Loafers

19. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?
Answer: There was nothing left but de Brie

20. Is this pool safe for diving?
Answer: It deep ends

21. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
Answer: It’s fine, he woke up

22. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
Answer: A nervous wreck

23. How do you find Will Smith in the winter?
Answer: You look for fresh prints

24. Want to hear a joke about construction?
Answer: I’m still working on it

25. Dad, can you put my shoes on?
Answer: No, I don’t think they’ll fit me


26. Want to hear a joke about paper?
Answer: Never mind it’s tearable

27. What do you call a pig that does karate?
Answer: Pork chop

28. Why were the utensils stuck together?
Answer: They were spooning

29. What kind of car does a sheep like to drive?
Answer: A lamborghini

30. When does a joke become a dad joke?
Answer: When it becomes apparent

To all the Dads out there, this day is for you! Put your feet up, grab your favourite drink, and relax. And don’t let it get to you when you hear groans when you tell your jokes, everyone secretly loves them.

Tune in and get your kids to listen and learn to appreciate some of the greatest songs of the 70s 80s 90s (the best music, right Dads?)